Daisy is the choir mistress; she is a member of the prayer and intercessory departments. Apart from being a committed member of the women’s fellowship, she also serves as the group’s prayer unit coordinator. Bernard, her husband, is a very sound Sunday school teacher. He is a committed member of the men’s fellowship and a well-liked gentleman with a huge sense of humour. They are financially committed members of their church. They are blessed with three sons and a daughter. People see them as the ideal Christian family. Unfortunately, what many people don’t know is that their beloved sister Daisy wears long-sleeved shirts and long skirts to cover the bruises and scars inflicted on her by her husband, the beloved Bro. Bernard. Unfortunately, there are those invisible scars caused by the psychological and mental abuses she’s suffering at the hands of her husband.

Daisy cries most times when she leads praise and worship sessions, and the general impression members have is that she’s slain in her spirit. Unfortunately, they don’t know that the reason she cries when she sings is because of her pain. They don’t know her passionate prayers are crying for help. She is a victim of domestic violence. For a long time, she couldn’t confide in anyone due to the ‘silence culture. One day, after listening to a relationship talk on domestic violence on the radio, she summoned up the courage to seek help from the church elder’s board. She was asked what she does to provoke her husband. She was labelled a foolish woman who could not build her house. They labelled her unsubmissive and asked her to pray. They concluded their ‘counselling’ with, “What God cannot do does not exist”.

Gab sat inside his car at the entrance of the gate leading to their estate. He has been there for over an hour; the security men are used to him as this is his daily routine, so they let him be.

Gab was lost in thought as he wondered how and where he got it wrong. He met and married Lucy, his wife, in the church. He stared at the paper in his hands. His doctor has clearly warned him that his continuous elevated blood pressure could lead to severe disability, a deadly heart attack, or a stroke. Gab dreads going home. Apart from calling her husband unprintable names and falsely accusing him of cheating, Lucy is hot-tempered and physically hits him whenever they have disagreements, and this is very frequent. One time, he narrowly escaped the mug she threw at him. Unfortunately, it hit the hand of one of their children. It took God’s supernatural grace and mercy for that hand to heal.

At a time, the orthopaedic surgeon they were seeing suggested they amputate the hand. Gab flinched and winced at the thought of their child being maimed for life. Beyond him, their children are also victims of domestic violence, as they suffer various forms of abuse from their mother, who claims she’s training them. The children use foul language and settle their scores with their fists, just like their mother. Gab feels like a failure—a big failure.Unfortunately, like several other men suffering from domestic violence, he is an invisible victim. He feels isolated and ashamed of his circumstances. He is expected to be a ‘man’ and any form of seeking help will be perceived as weakness.

“Domestic violence, which can also be referred to as family violence, is when someone uses violence or manipulation to maintain power and control over another. It can involve physical violence, intimidation, threats, insults, or psychological manipulation.“

Domestic violence, which can also be referred to as family violence, is when someone uses violence or manipulation to maintain power and control over another. It can involve physical violence, intimidation, threats, insults, or psychological manipulation.

Types of abuse include physical, sexual, verbal, psychological or emotional, social isolation, financial, and spiritual (ridiculing one’s spiritual beliefs or misquoting scriptures to justify abuse of one’s spouse). Child abuse, neglect, etc.

Domestic violence has been a part of human history. In some climes, we see human beings tolerating or stylishly encouraging it without the feeling of guilt.

In recent times, cases of domestic violence have been on the increase, and surprisingly, some Christian couples are victims or perpetrators of this heinous act. One would have thought because they are Christians and the Bible admonishes us in several parts of the scriptures to love one another, that they will not be caught in this menace; rather, they will be examples of godly living. After all, the Bible admonishes us in Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

In the Bible, we will see that all violence is considered an offense against God and humanity. We see God’s severe judgment with respect to the first violence recorded in the Bible, as captured in Gen 4:10-12. Scripture is full of condemnations of violence. Time and time again, we see that violence is associated with wickedness and strongly condemned as “detestable to the Lord,” as seen in Psalm 11:5b, “But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates.” This same position is captured in Proverbs 3:33: “The curse of the Lord is on the house of the wicked.” In the Bible, according to Jewish laws, we will see that violence against women is condemned. Rape was viewed as equivalent to murder, as seen in Deut22:26, “Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor,” as well as pressurizing a woman physically, as captured in Deut 22:25–27. “But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. 26 Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbour, 27 for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.” psychologically into sex. Deut 22:28-29 “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels [ of silver]. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. 

To be contd.